I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
