I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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