I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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