she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Drunk is a universal language darling
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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