Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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