i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
