I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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