Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina

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(678): View more from Georgia

You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"

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(734): View more from Michigan

you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(325): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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(408): View more from California

A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.

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(585): View more from New York

Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.

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(716): View more from New York

When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?

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(936): View more from Texas

Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?

(713): View more from Texas

You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.

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