can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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