can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
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Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
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the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND