I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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