Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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