i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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