it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
