Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
