it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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