A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
