i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
