She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
