So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
