I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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