I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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