He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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