Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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