I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she peed on how many people?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
