Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
