You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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