ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
