Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My vagina just recognized that song.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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