Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
