You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
