i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We are two peas in an std pod
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
