is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
