I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
