i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
