I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
