forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
