why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
