My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
