her vagine was all disorganized.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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