if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
