I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
