Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
