Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
that is very illegal...i love you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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