so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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