this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
