The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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