he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i need some magic done to my vagina
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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