I accidentally burped into my bong.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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