Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
