I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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