just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
