how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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