new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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