i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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