HIV tests are more positive than that guy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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