im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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