YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
