It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
