Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
