okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Drunk is a universal language darling
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
