White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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