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Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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