Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
