sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
