i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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