tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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