she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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